Hey Bloodredthorn, I found this boo very interesting and was going to write you an indepth reply in this very comment box, however I thought that I'd record my response to you alternatively, because it feels more personal. It's called @Bloodredthorn: My Need To Help Others Response. I'd love it if you could give it a listen, when you have time.
Thank you very much for sharing, it was a boo worth publishing here. :)
I understand exactly candle. I think for the majority of us, it is a lot easier to offer help than to accept it. When you were struggle with your demons, did you ever reach out to someone for help? Or did you deal with it alone. I know, for me anyway, it took me awhile to be able to tell someone, look i'm drowning here, please help. And do you know what the funniest, most fecked up thing was? This one time I was in a river, and I started getting into distress, thought I was drowning even though I had a life jacket on and I didn't want to yell for help because I didn't want to make a fuss. Ha!
Society is slowly learning that it's okay to admit they need help. We seem to have learned quicker to offer than to receive, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I've found in the past that when it comes to the life or death, sink or swim moment, you do get that call at 3am. It's not the case for everyone, but you've just got to hope that if they do end up on that cliff, they extend their hand. Or you get a rope around them and drag them back up kicking and screaming!
I struggle with this as well. The exact same thing. All my life, I've wanted to be the solid friend that people turn to, despite what I've struggled with and the fact that I never had that person in my life. That's what confuses me the most - internally I've battled my demons for the majority of my life but I still wanted to be that person that anyone could turn to. "If you ever need me, I'm here for you. Even if it's 3AM. My phone is on." And then I would leave my phone on a loud ringer. And I would wake up with no calls or texts. Nobody ever took my offer of security and that pissed me off. And then those who used me as a vent mechanism ONLY talked to me when they needed to vent (when I thought we were decent friends). I couldn't win. And I still can't win today. At this point I feel as though if someone happened to be dangling off a cliff and I extended my hand, he/she would rather fall to his/her death than take my help. You know? I don't understand it. Do you deal with this too?
I definitely think it's either a) something we're born with or b) the way we were raised/what we went through as children. I feel like there's something WRONG with me though because I'm so caring sometimes. You know? GAH not making sense again, I fear. Haha.
It's called @Bloodredthorn: My Need To Help Others Response. I'd love it if you could give it a listen, when you have time.
Thank you very much for sharing, it was a boo worth publishing here. :)
Society is slowly learning that it's okay to admit they need help. We seem to have learned quicker to offer than to receive, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I've found in the past that when it comes to the life or death, sink or swim moment, you do get that call at 3am. It's not the case for everyone, but you've just got to hope that if they do end up on that cliff, they extend their hand. Or you get a rope around them and drag them back up kicking and screaming!
I definitely think it's either a) something we're born with or b) the way we were raised/what we went through as children. I feel like there's something WRONG with me though because I'm so caring sometimes. You know? GAH not making sense again, I fear. Haha.