I think forgiveness can mean a lot of different things. Yes many times you forgive someone in order to give them an opportunity to change. If you forgive your significant other for cheating its probably under the assumption or with the hope they won't do it again. Forgiveness is not always a effective way to get someone to change. I don't think there is an effective method of getting people to change because people don’t change until they are ready or when they want to. I look at forgiveness as more of a way of letting go. You need to forgive those who do wrong to you because if you don't you will waste a lot of time being angry and hurt.
being nice to someone that is mean to you will probably not change them but it will annoy the heck out of them and then probably make them treat you even worse or get so frustrated with you that they leave you alone.
forgiveness true forgiveness isn't for the person you are forgiving but for yourself, when you REALLY forgive then that situation no longer holdsany control over you and therefore no longer affects you. YOu have decided this will no longer control or affect me I am letting it go.
Being nice to someone that is mean to you is for yourself as well because you get to walk away from the situation knowing that you did not do wrong to this person you walk away with a clear conscious.
Time Heals All Wounds. Its been the way for me. I dont have much hate in me, i simply have opinions of right and wrong. When anyone did me wrong, i let go of the person...and in time...when i look back i realize ive forgiven her/him and i didnt even know. If i ever see the person after that realization...a smile from me is sure to come with all intentions of breaking the ice. So does forgiveness work? Yes it does. You just need to feel it in your heart and let that feeling run its course...and be patient.. different people need different amounts of time to heal. Forgiveness helps to lesses your baggage. The less the baggage...the happier you are in life.
First of all WHOA! I just had a dream about my ex earlier today. I miss him a lot. Anyways, you were in my dream last night Myles. Haha, okay for real this time.
It seems that any time I've had to really forgive someone, it also involved letting them go. Mostly because they've already let me go. So then it's like forgiving does me a lot more good than it does them. I don't forget though. If someone wants forgiveness, and you are willing to give it, is when it works. If you've truly forgiven yourselves and each other, you can move on I think. But it will always be there. I don't think people really can forgive and forget. I suppose you can just whack them on the head to give them amnesia so they'll forget. But then if you don't it right you'll have something else to ask forgiveness for :P
Listening to this has made me think back to the amount of times I've had to forgive people... I don't know whether that's a bad thing towards me in that I've been surrounded by people who have wronged me so I should have gotten out more or a bad thing to them in that they wronged me? The point is that when you forgive someone, you're letting go of what they have done to you and putting the past away, if they forgive themselves is an entirely different question. If they do forgive themselves then they too are letting go of the past and focusing on the present, if they don't then they are showing they know what they did was wrong in my opinion. What matters is that you both know who was in the wrong and that you both deal with it... even if you don't come out at the same side. Being nasty to be always seems like it has been the best option because it's that's best for your situation, you put your thoughts out here then it's for the other person to get over and deal with especially if it's getting on your mind you need to be deal with it it the quickest and most productive way possible, even if it feels a bit bad. I'm only speaking from my own point of view and stuff though, situations vary obviously.
What comes to mind after listening is "forgive and forget" yet I don't really do any of those. With any degree of offense I do not think I forgive, I just come to terms and accept it but I certainly never forget, ever. I can say I see why a person did something, and I can understand it but that doesn't mean I will forgive them. I do give second chances but I have my guard up and am hesitant and it does takes less to break my trust again. The other still has a conscience and they're remorseful as well. I'm not sure if I'm making sense...
forgiveness true forgiveness isn't for the person you are forgiving but for yourself, when you REALLY forgive then that situation no longer holdsany control over you and therefore no longer affects you. YOu have decided this will no longer control or affect me I am letting it go.
Being nice to someone that is mean to you is for yourself as well because you get to walk away from the situation knowing that you did not do wrong to this person you walk away with a clear conscious.
Its been the way for me. I dont have much hate in me, i simply have opinions of right and wrong. When anyone did me wrong, i let go of the person...and in time...when i look back i realize ive forgiven her/him and i didnt even know. If i ever see the person after that realization...a smile from me is sure to come with all intentions of breaking the ice. So does forgiveness work? Yes it does. You just need to feel it in your heart and let that feeling run its course...and be patient.. different people need different amounts of time to heal.
Forgiveness helps to lesses your baggage. The less the baggage...the happier you are in life.
It seems that any time I've had to really forgive someone, it also involved letting them go. Mostly because they've already let me go. So then it's like forgiving does me a lot more good than it does them. I don't forget though.
If someone wants forgiveness, and you are willing to give it, is when it works. If you've truly forgiven yourselves and each other, you can move on I think. But it will always be there.
I don't think people really can forgive and forget. I suppose you can just whack them on the head to give them amnesia so they'll forget. But then if you don't it right you'll have something else to ask forgiveness for :P
The point is that when you forgive someone, you're letting go of what they have done to you and putting the past away, if they forgive themselves is an entirely different question. If they do forgive themselves then they too are letting go of the past and focusing on the present, if they don't then they are showing they know what they did was wrong in my opinion. What matters is that you both know who was in the wrong and that you both deal with it... even if you don't come out at the same side.
Being nasty to be always seems like it has been the best option because it's that's best for your situation, you put your thoughts out here then it's for the other person to get over and deal with especially if it's getting on your mind you need to be deal with it it the quickest and most productive way possible, even if it feels a bit bad.
I'm only speaking from my own point of view and stuff though, situations vary obviously.