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    3:32
    “REPENT!” CRIED ST. PETER, AS HE SLAMMED SHUT THE PEARLY GATES. THE SINNER TURNED TO THE REST OF THE CROWD AND SAID, “I GUESS THE ONUS IS...
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    STAND YOUR GROUND = A SORRY ODD GUN NUT What’s so funny about this? Not much, but it is a good anagram and pretty much says what I...
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    3:17
    “WE’LL HAVE TO REHEARSE THAT,” SAID THE UNDERTAKER AS THE COFFIN FELL OUT OF THE CAR. What’s so funny about this? While this may be...
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    WHAT DO YOU CALL TWO BANANA PEELS ON THE FLOOR? – A PAIR OF SLIPPERS What’s so funny about this? Slippers, shoes, pants, trousers are...
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    If you ignore the FLOOD MAP you might need a MUD FLAP What so funny about this? Before settling on this format for our spoonerism, I...
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    On his 65th birthday, Maurice retired and went to apply for Social Security. He noticed a sign on the wall that said, “You must have two...
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    3:21
    SHE WAS ONLY A WHISKEY MAKER, BUT I LOVED HER STILL. What’s so funny about this? This short little joke makes but one point, and that...
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    IT'S NOT THAT I'M BAD AT MAKING PLANS. IT'S JUST THAT I'M SO MUCH BETTER AT MAKING EXCUSES. What’s so funny about this? This could be...
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    2:37
    I LIKE TO BORROW MONEY FROM PESSIMISTS. THEY DON'T EXPECT IT BACK. – STEVEN WRIGHT What’s so funny about this? Steven Wright is a...
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    2:50
    A rather elderly gentleman (mid-80’s) walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is very well-dressed, smelling slightly of an expensive...
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    2:43
    THOSE WHO GET TOO BIG FOR THEIR BRITCHES WILL BE EXPOSED IN THE END What’s so funny about this? “Britches” are pants, or if you...
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    2:39
    IT’S HARD TO EXPLAIN PUNS TO KLEPTOMANIACS BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS TAKE THINGS LITERALLY What’s so funny about this? I didn’t realize...
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    2:37
    TIME IS A GREAT HEALER, BUT A TERRIBLE BEAUTICIAN. What’s so funny about this? There’s a lot of truth in this one-liner. They say the...
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    2:59
    MY FRIEND AND I ARE GOING TO RIDE OUR BIKES TO A HOUSE PARTY BECAUSE I DON'T THINK WE CAN HANDLE BARS What’s so funny about this? This...
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    4:07
    This joke was sent to me by Bob Weiner of New York City #ESL #ELT #ELL #ELD #ESOL #EFL #TESOL #ESOL #English #language #twinglish...
    • Whatsofunny I KNOW A GUY WHO'S ADDICTED TO BRAKE FLUID. HE SAYS HE CAN STOP ANY TIME. What’s so funny about this? When I was 13 years old I went to a summer camp where I was in the second oldest bunk, or cabin of boys. The oldest bunk had the 14-15 year olds. These guys were the most interesting and the meanest. They were always playing tricks on us like “shorting” our bed sheets, which means to fold them so they would look like the bed was made, but when you tried to put your feet in, you could end up tearing the sheets which were old and cheap anyway. The leader of other oldest boys was Mike, who gave everybody a hard time. He was all of 14, experienced in the ways of the world and claimed to already have his “JD (juvenile delinquent) card.” One day Mike went missing. He didn’t show up for lunch or afternoon snack. Pretty soon the entire camp was out looking for him. He could have run away, been murdered, kidnapped by aliens or who knows what? They finally found him, almost passed out under a tractor the camp kept around and used for mowing the grass of which there was a lot. The tractor had a leaky gas tank. Mike, had somehow discovered this and, in his wisdom, decided he was going to get high on the fumes. I can’t imagine where he learned that. The guy was completely stoned when they pulled him out from under the tractor, though, of course, I didn’t know the word or the concept then. But I’ll never forget the look on his usually mean face; kind of drunk and vaguely smiling. I never saw Mike again. But this joke did remind me of the episode, because people do get high on the dumbest shit imaginable, like gasoline fumes, airplane glue and spray paint. Besides rotting their noses and brains, all this stuff completely reeks, or smells, very bad. So it’s not surprising that the guy in the joke is addicted to brake fluid. This is the liquid used to send pressure from stepping on the brake pedal of a car, to the actual brakes set at each wheel. When you step on the brakes, the car will stop because of the action of this fluid. I doubt that it’s particularly tasty and it must smell as good as the other stuff I’ve mentioned. It’s altogether possible that some idiot might try to sniff it through his nose. Being addicted to something or to doing something means you can’t stop doing it, for example, heroin, cocaine, and even spray paint. But I guess in the case of brake fluid, as the guy says, he can stop any time. Of course even when your brakes don’t work you can still stop by crashing and I’m sure that’s what this guy’s gonna do. And THAT’s what’s so funny, I guess.
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    3:27
    • Whatsofunny IF YOU DON’T WANT A HAPPY NEW YEAR, HERE’S AN ALTERNATIVE: HYPE-WEARY? NAP! What’s so funny about this? Well, it’s another New Year’s Eve, time for another million people to fill Times Square in NYC and watch a ball slide down a tower and count down the final seconds of the old year. Time to get together with friends and family and welcome in the new year. Time to make a lot of noise to scare off those evil spirits who would spoil our fun and promises of the year to come. Time to kiss someone at the stroke of midnight. In the US, Christmas is for kids while New Year’s is for grown-ups. We’re all encouraged to stay up late and celebrate. When I was a teen-ager, New Year’s Eve was the night you absolutely had to have a date. You absolutely had to go to at least three or four parties. When I was in a band, if you didn’t have a gig, if you weren’t working on New Year’s Eve, your band sucked, because there were more jobs on this night than any other in the year. Let’s face it, there is a lot of HYPE about New Year’s Eve. Even if you feel like crap, you’re still supposed to go and party ‘til dawn and drink booze or alcohol until you get sick. “Hype” is intense pressure and publicity about an object or event. The idea is to build it up so that everyone thinks it’s the most important thing in the world. That’s what tends to happen on New Year’s Eve. There’s nothing wrong with parties and getting together with friends. My only objection is that people go overboard and too much of a good thing is a bad thing. So this joke offers you an anagram alternative to a Happy New Year. If you are really tired of all the hype and fake merry making, all you have to do is rearrange the letters of Happy New Year and follow the advice that is revealed: Go take a nap! By the time you wake up it will all be over. You can get into your car and drive home safely. Then we can all sing about remembering our old acquaintances for old time sake, and think about the good times to come, like the fiscal cliff. And THAT’s what’s so funny! Happy New Year, Everyone
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    THE UNIVERSE IS A BIG PLACE. WHAT IS THE CENTER OF GRAVITY? What’s so funny about this? So far, there is nothing funny about it...
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    2:41
    I REALLY DID TRY TO TELL THE GUN DEALER THAT THE PRISON SHRINK TOLD ME TO STAY AWAY FROM GUNS, BUT THE DEALER INSISTED I TAKE THE AK–47,...
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    I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT WHEN I CAME HOME FROM WORK TODAY AND I WAS TOLD BY MY WIFE THAT MY FIVE YEAR OLD SON WASN’T ACTUALLY MINE. SHE...
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    Headline: MIDDLETOWN MAN HIDES CRACK IN HIS BUTTOCKS What’s so funny about this? Well one thing we know for sure, this man from...