WhatsofunnyTIE ONE ON
A guy walks into a fancy bar wearing a shirt open at the collar. He’s met by a bouncer who tells him he needs to wear a necktie to be allowed in. So the guy goes out to his car and looks around for a necktie. He discovers that he doesn't have one but he sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties them around his neck, manages to make a decent-looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the bar and the bouncer carefully looks him over and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything."
What’s so funny about this? I don’t usually do jokes of this length. I prefer what they call “one-liners” which deliver the punch line, or the actual joke, right away, without a big set-up. But occasionally the set-up is half the fun, and that’s the case with this joke. It starts out perfectly normally. “A guy walks into a bar…” Right away we learn it’s not a regular bar but a fancy one, that requires male patrons (a fancy name for customers) to wear neckties. Our guy has a shirt with an open collar so that tells us he’s not wearing a tie. Furthermore, the bar has a bouncer, someone responsible for making sure that patrons are well-behaved and that no undesirables can enter. Since our guy has no tie, he’s undesirable. He must really want to have a drink at this bar though, because he goes to his car in search of a necktie, rather than just going somewhere else. Needless to say, he doesn’t find a tie, but he does find a pair of jumper cables. These are two thick black wires about four feet in length, with color coded clips on both ends to connect two car batteries, if one of them is dead and needs to be re-started. He ties the cables around his neck and tries to get back into the bar. When the bouncer sees what the guy had done, it’s obvious how desperate the guy must is. So the bouncer gives him permission to enter on the condition that the guy not “start anything”. To “start something” is also a euphemism for starting a fight, which the bouncer, of course wants to avoid. However, jumper cables are designed to start things, so the bouncer is worried that the guy might try to hook-up with someone and start something with them. The guy on the other hand, I’m sure would like to make some sparks fly.
And THAT’s what’s so funny!