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Boos tagged #ingles
HEY YOU, GET OFF OF MY CLOUD
What’s the difference between giving a canine nourishment and passing on ownership of a mist to your relatives? FEED A DOG / DEED A FOG ...
check out what the Rolling Stones say: http://youtu.be/LtqTS0nKo2A
LAST WEEK I HELPED MY FRIEND STAY PUT. IT'S A LOT EASIER'N HELPIN' 'EM MOVE. I JUST WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND MADE SURE THAT HE DID NOT ...
CHINNY CHIN CHIN
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RICH GUY WITH THE DOUBLE CHIN? HE MADE A FOUR CHIN. What’s so funny about this? I know that fat jokes are insensi...
SHEET FOR BRAINS
SHAMPOO: Why would anyone want to wash their hair with fake excrement? What’s so funny about this? This joke is hilarious if you’re ...
GO AHEAD AND JUMP
THE TRAMPOLINE WAS ON SALE FOR FIFTY PER CENT OFF. NEEDLESS TO SAY I JUMPED ON THE OFFER. What’s so funny about this? You will need to k...
I have a great dog who’s named Scooter Renowned as a garbage can looter An apple pie moochie, Yep, he’s my poochie, He has no other i...
This joke was inspired by punnyjokes on tumblr.com
THEY SAID MY HORMONES WERE OUT OF BALANCE BECAUSE I WAS EXPECTING THE WORLD TO END TODAY. SO THEY SENT ME TO AN ENDOCHRONOLOGIST What’s so funny about this? I was debating whether or not to do another end-of-the-world-joke. The last one was just a little over a year ago. Today is the Winter Solstice, December 21, 2012, the shortest day of the year. And according to a lot of panic stricken and panic inspiring TV programs, the last day of a 5000 year Mayan calendar. I was thinking about this at bedtime last night, when I realized that it was already the 21st in Asia. And as I write this it’s already December 22 in Asia, and apparently most of us are still here, waiting. Though my wife reminded me that NY is almost in the same time zone as where the Mayans used to live in Mexico. Oh well, another “prediction bites the dust”. It’s amazing that there is anyone who thinks that the world could actually end in the blink of an eye, during one day. By the time the world really ends, a ka-zillion years from now. Humans and all other living species will have died out well before that. Nevertheless, predicting the end of the world is good business and I don’t expect it to stop any time soon. Speaking of time, let’s get to the joke. What do hormones have to do with the end of time? A hormone is a chemical produced by glands and other body organs that help to regulate the functioning of the body, including the mind/brain. Doctors who specialize in these hormones and glands are known as “endocrinologists.” They study the glandular or endocrine system of the human body. Note that this word looks and sounds very similar to the word in the joke, “endochronologist.” The latter is a pun, a joke, it doesn’t really exist, but let’s look at its components any way. “Chronology” means a time sequence or the study of time. The word comes from the Latin prefix relating to time, “chrono”. So if we add “endo” to “chrono”, we get someone who studies the END of TIME, or an endochronologist. And THAT’s what’s so funny!
It's the end of the world as we know it -REM http://youtu.be/JsxavPANO8s
A PACKAGE DEAL
WHEN A MAN MEETS HIS WIFE-TO-BE IT'S "PHEROMONES". WHEN HE MEETS HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW-TO-BE IT'S "FEAR O’ MOANS." What’s so funny about ...
Episode 4 Jessica's Online English Journal: Sitting in on My Friend Jim's Photoshoot
- Hey! How's it going? Welcome to Episode 4 of my Online English Journal. My name is Jessica Ojeda. I teach En...
I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A MAIDEN SO FAIR, WHO CHARGED ME A FARE JUST TO GO TO A FAIR, BUT THEN WE BROKE UP – IT WASN’T A FAIR AFFAIR. What’s so funny about this? If you’re reading this, you’re in good shape because you can see the different spellings and word separations of FAIR, FARE and AFFAIR. But if you are only listening, you’re probably pulling your hair out in confusion. That’s the thing about English sometimes – homonyms can drive you nuts, especially if they are bunched together and involve combinations of nouns, verbs and adjectives, not to mention not knowing where one word ends and the other begins. I know, it’s just not fair. Sorry, I couldn’t resist that. Let’s break it down. So I had an affair. This is a noun and the clue is in the article AN. Affair is spelled a-f-f-a-i-r, a noun meaning relationship. The person I had an affair with was a maiden, a young woman, so fair, spelled f-a-i-r, an adjective meaning pretty or light skinned. She charged me a fare, spelled f-a-r-e, a noun meaning an admission fee, just to go to a fair, spelled f-a-i-r, another noun meaning a carnival, (maybe she worked there). Clearly I was not happy about paying her to get into the fair so we broke up, that is, ended our relationship. The affair wasn’t fair, spelled f-a-i-r, an adjective meaning honest, just and correct. That was fairly easy, wasn’t it? And THAT’s what’s so funny!