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play0:00 / 3:26THE 50-50-90 RULE: ANYTIME YOU HAVE A 50-50 CHANCE OF GETTING SOMETHING RIGHT, THERE'S A 90% PROBABILITY YOU'LL GET IT WRONG What’s so... -
play0:00 / 3:54I BROKE UP WITH MY GYM. WE WERE JUST NOT WORKING OUT. What’s so funny about this? If you’re listening to this instead of reading it, ... -
play0:00 / 3:33THE HANGER OF MY ART DISPLAYS THE ANGER OF MY HEART What’s so funny about this? OK it’s not funny. I admit it, but it is a spoonerism ...-
Whatsofunny Thanks Khalique, I appreciate it
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khaliqurrahman If art is not funny, fart is. I like the eitches changing places and meaningfully, too. And that is really funny!
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play0:00 / 3:38This joke was sent to me by my long-time pal, Bob Weiner #ESL #ELT #ELL #ELD #ESOL #EFL #TESOL #ESOL #English #language #twinglish #jo...
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Whatsofunny Thanks Oto
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OtoRodrigues Loved this one!
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Whatsofunny TIE ONE ON A guy walks into a fancy bar wearing a shirt open at the collar. He’s met by a bouncer who tells him he needs to wear a necktie to be allowed in. So the guy goes out to his car and looks around for a necktie. He discovers that he doesn't have one but he sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties them around his neck, manages to make a decent-looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the bar and the bouncer carefully looks him over and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything." What’s so funny about this? I don’t usually do jokes of this length. I prefer what they call “one-liners” which deliver the punch line, or the actual joke, right away, without a big set-up. But occasionally the set-up is half the fun, and that’s the case with this joke. It starts out perfectly normally. “A guy walks into a bar…” Right away we learn it’s not a regular bar but a fancy one, that requires male patrons (a fancy name for customers) to wear neckties. Our guy has a shirt with an open collar so that tells us he’s not wearing a tie. Furthermore, the bar has a bouncer, someone responsible for making sure that patrons are well-behaved and that no undesirables can enter. Since our guy has no tie, he’s undesirable. He must really want to have a drink at this bar though, because he goes to his car in search of a necktie, rather than just going somewhere else. Needless to say, he doesn’t find a tie, but he does find a pair of jumper cables. These are two thick black wires about four feet in length, with color coded clips on both ends to connect two car batteries, if one of them is dead and needs to be re-started. He ties the cables around his neck and tries to get back into the bar. When the bouncer sees what the guy had done, it’s obvious how desperate the guy must is. So the bouncer gives him permission to enter on the condition that the guy not “start anything”. To “start something” is also a euphemism for starting a fight, which the bouncer, of course wants to avoid. However, jumper cables are designed to start things, so the bouncer is worried that the guy might try to hook-up with someone and start something with them. The guy on the other hand, I’m sure would like to make some sparks fly. And THAT’s what’s so funny!
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play0:00 / 3:02DESCARTES WALKS INTO A BAR, AND THE BARTENDER ASKS "WOULD YOU LIKE A BEER?" DESCARTES REPLIES "I THINK NOT" AND POOF! HE VANISHES. Wha... -
play0:00 / 3:28This joke came from Aaron Karo on Ruminations.com #ESL #ELT #ELL #ELD #ESOL #EFL #TESOL #ESOL #English #language #twinglish #joke #ingle...
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Whatsofunny My pleasure Oto, I hope you like the transripts. I've just started posting them. Before it was audio only
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OtoRodrigues lol... I guess we could apply much of the categories listed here to the Congress of my country, too. By the way, thanks for the follow.
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Whatsofunny DID YOU KNOW THAT A LARGE GROUP OF BABOONS IS CALLED A CONGRESS? THAT EXPLAINS A LOT, DOESN’T IT? What’s so funny about this? This is a great opportunity to talk a little about collective nouns. These are words that we use to describe groups or collections of other nouns, so they apply to people, animals, places, things, ideas. Most of the collective nouns we hear every day, such as group or bunch, can refer to anything and are not specific to one noun. These are not very interesting. But there’s a large sub-group of collective nouns, called terms of venery. These are much more fascinating because they only apply to one animal and not to any others. A typical example is a “pride of lions” or a “gaggle of geese”. This practice goes back to hunting traditions in France and England during the middle ages. Both languages developed very specific collective nouns for specific animals. Many of these are no longer in use, but many are still with us. BTW a “school of fish” seems to be the exception to the rule of being specific. But we do have a “pod of whales, a sneak of weasels, a culture of bacteria”, and of course the one in the joke, a “congress of baboons”. As you can tell some of these are contradictory, while others are correctly descriptive. Lions do appear to have a lot of pride. Weasels are considered to be sneaky animals so a sneak of them makes sense. But exactly how cultured are bacteria? Maybe fish are dumb so they need to be in schools. And baboons? In general, this ape does not have a great reputation personality wise. They are considered (incorrectly) to be big and stupid. They can be quite aggressive, cunning, tricky, stubborn, and they have these big red behinds which they are always scratching. So with all of these characteristics, how did they ever earn the collective name congress? Maybe we should ask which came first, the US Congress or a congress of baboons? Of course if we look at all of these characteristics of baboons closely, then we come to realize that it’s a perfect name for the US Congress. And THAT’s what’s so funny! This joke came from Aaron Karo on Ruminations.com
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play0:00 / 3:58This joke came from Puns@omgthatspunny #ESL #ELT #ELL #ELD #ESOL #EFL #TESOL #ESOL #English #language #twinglish #joke #ingles #wordp...
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Whatsofunny WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAKE MACARONI? AN IMPASTA. What’s so funny about this? This joke is a pun based on pronunciation rather than a homonym. It’s short and sweet and should be easy to understand. I live in New York, which has a very large Italian population, meaning they are either immigrants who were born in Italy or they are descended from Italian immigrants. Italians have been migrating to New York in large numbers since the late 19th century. Italy is a large country and there are many dialects of Italian spoken in various parts of the country. Brooklyn and Staten Island, two boroughs of New York City, have many Italians who come from the southern part of the boot (on a map, Italy looks a lot like a boot), as well as from Sicily (which remind people of a ball being kicked by the boot). The Italian language varieties have also affected the English translations of a number of words. Which brings us to our joke. Italians do like to eat pasta, macaroni, spaghetti, etc., on a daily basis. The trouble is, exactly what is this stuff? Is it all the same or all different? And what about rigatoni, tortellini, manicotti, and so on? It IS all basically the same except it looks different due to the different shapes. However the first three items are less specific than the next three. Depending on where you live in New York City, pasta, macaroni and spaghetti can refer to EVERYTHING. All three can be generic words encompassing a multitude of shapes. The same is true for what goes on top, especially in southern Italian cooking. Usually it’s something made from tomatoes, but is it sauce? Is it gravy? The answer is yes! Leaving aside the fact that it’s not really possible to get a clear mental picture of the food we are talking about, the joke asks us to consider identifying fake macaroni. The answer to the question of what is fake macaroni, is the pun. Pronounced correctly the answer should be an imposter, meaning fake or pretend. But in NY, New England and even Old England, many of us like to drop our final R’s and so the word becomes IMPASTA. This brings me to my final Italian word Basta, enough! And THAT’s what’s so funny!
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play0:00 / 3:32I GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH A REALLY BIG GUY AND HE SAID, “I’M GOING TO MOP THE FLOOR WITH YOUR FACE.” I SAID, “YOU’LL BE SORRY” AND HE SAID ...
